Listen to my skin: (Bleaching and The African woman’s self-worth )

I remember some years back, sitting in a dim lit office of an officer in charge of some aspect of government registration procedure I wanted to embark on, I glanced at my watch in the hope that my issues will be sorted out before the ALMIGHTY lunch break. After a flimsy “fill in the forms, I’ll be back”, the Officer just rushed out to engage in more pertinent talks with a colleague outside. I could hear their hushed, emphatic tones in the course of their discussion and I just hoped that the secretary would do me the favor of signaling “the boss” that I was done. But we all know the refrain “just wait a while, he’ll be with you”.

When I finally heard the sound of footsteps, it was that of a young, average height, light skinned lady in a tailored-to-fit, above-the-knee purple pencil skirt and a white polka dot blouse with a thin silver waist belt. The tip of her perm-cut was tainted brown and her lips were a flattering crimson red. She was the magic that saved the day, the genie that brought all the answers and opened all the doors, and I think she knew it. If her half-British accent did not get her the attention, her nails would do the talking, if her nails missed a point, her skin and the luster of her complexion would make it up and hopefully you didn’t miss the sight of the car keys she tossed between her fingers,  because that also confirms a lot.

So the Secretary, who had obviously picked up all the necessary signals went “Madam, please have a seat, I’ll call him for you” and she actually did. In less than ten minutes the officer was back. And when he came, he grinned and winced with refreshing excitement, “Yes Lady, what can I do for you?”

Obviously, when a hybrid accent expresses the need of a light skinned beauty, the outright answer is “no problem”. The officer simply added “if you have the form, then let’s go to my office and get it done quickly”. That was it, she was through and I was still sitting at the desk fanning myself in utter frustration. “Young lady, come back next week. We are on break now, so just leave your forms behind and come back later”.He told me.

 I probably hadn’t figured out the trend: Which man has time these days for a woman who leaves her skin as black as the sun allows it to be? The anthem is “Go lighten up!”

 So, though Nobody says it openly, deep down hidden in the confines of their unspoken fears and rejected hopes, many women silently admit that each day they exist, they have to intentionally create the magic potion in the pigment of their skin and work out their revenge strategy through their outer looks as a safeguard and an answer to the fear of rejection and discrimination they see ahead. Some also just can’t have enough of the sweet attention that a toned skin brings. So, if you asked a lady “what are you bleaching for?”, there obviously would be a dozen answers for you: it is to secure her future, to get the answers and of course to feel good, wanted, accepted, admired…It’s a matter of going light to feel right.

It’s a subtle revenge

In a continent where hierarchy is everything, where a mere “Yes Sir, Yes Madam” at the gate and in the office is somebody’s daily source of ego and real taste of success, image in this continent becomes the currency of SUCCESS, and where one is placed in the hierarchy of acceptance matters to many. This notion of image is per the psycho-social perspective of the people; “Respect” that comes with the wheels one rides on, the number of times he has been to the U.S and back and how “international” the fellow looks. Don’t get it wrong, many have tried to stick to their afro-centric looks and found themselves rejected from certain professions, marginalized in some contests or dropped for the lighter one, when it came to such industries as publicity, advertisement, acting…etc. Which ever way, some women especially give up on self-acceptance, because they feel a certain exasperation, as if they were going against tides that were too strong for them. And when this becomes an on-going repeated sign, there is a personal revenge strategy. Silent but deadly, subtle but steady and indeed, long term.

With a twist of deception

So a young university graduate, an upcoming singer or actress and a middle aged worker are all on the run for the best Hi tech method to scrape off the blackness and get on some whiteness. That is what actually accounts for the influx of products that help to alter a woman’s African look from head to toe. Because as one lady admitted in an interview “we don’t like black, it’s associated with backwardness, lack of enlightenment and lack of style”. Now, that is a twist of deception, a kind of distorted thinking that rather needs a bleach of truth. Black is not awkward it is our mindset that Is, black is not backward it is our perspective that is.” We are still tied to the notion that everything foreign and white is better and more exotic. And who defines exotic? Magazine covers of foreign models who wear wigs, lashes and fancy clothes they are paid to wear and whose photos are taken through the deceptive clicks and turns of Photoshop.In the end we feel enticed to smear on the “priceless” potion that rids us of the very protective pigment of our heritage. It may look classy, it may feel good, but in the long run, this feeling of inadequacy becomes a deformity, one that we will always try to hide and dissimulate in order to keep feeling worthy.

Give BLACK the right worth

This is obviously what the Ivorian government is trying to do through the recent ban on the importation of bleaching products. But is there any better shade in the midst of all these storms of media pressure and Western standards? Yes. It’s the shade of self-worth. When a woman discovers her self-worth, no amount of pressure can break her resolve to love the way she is. And if she does, it is needless to say that she would be treated with the respect she deserves. Indeed if a black woman thinks white is more beautiful, it’s because she has not made her blackness attractive enough in her own eyes. With a little bit of reflection and introspection we can shed off the erroneous ideas about BLACKNESS and counter it with more positive truths about who we actually are. Black women are beautiful, intelligent,and inspiring women who are confident and assertive and know their self worth! 

 
If you saw this written on a banner, would you believe it to be TRUE or would it sound like a fancy slogan? And if your picture were placed beside it, would it match the statement or would it seem out of place. The truth is, we are what we repeatedly do, or think, or portray. Black beauty is therefore not a statement; it’s an act, and an everyday reality.  Let’s not fuss about lighter skins whilst being an epitome of darker minds. Let “black” minds learn, create, work, think, solve and initiate, and not merely seek self worth from lightening creams. That will leave us at the mercy of more discrimination and disrespect, because we will look neither like ourselves nor like our coveted selves. We will miss our way and the power of our impact. If we keep following the misleading sign posts to self worth, we will never get “there”.

There’s no better shade

In my reading on the psychology of colors, I found out what the color gray stood for. The color that most blacks who bleach can at best get to is a color that is neither naturally black nor naturally white, it is thus probably gray! It says that the color gray is an unemotional color. It is detached, neutral, impartial and indecisive - the fence-sitter.

Gray is also the color of compromise - being neither black nor white; it is the transition between two non-colors. The closer gray gets to black, the more dramatic and mysterious it becomes. The closer it gets to silver or white, the more illuminating and lively it becomes. But when it remains in the middle, it’s both motionless and emotionless, a color that is subdued, quiet and reserved. It does not stimulate, energize, rejuvenate or excite.

In the meaning of colors, gray is conservative, boring, drab and depressing on the one hand and elegant and formal on the other, yet never glamorous. So, even though not in its literal meaning that those who bleach turn gray, the notion of gray here is a mixture of two originals that ends up almost as an inexistent version of both.  It loses the force that both original versions carry. That probably is the reason why the skin reacts in an awful way to bleaching creams over a period of time. 

So, even from a color psychology perspective, you might as well make a bold statement by staying naturally black if you are black or naturally white if you are white, rather than getting lost in the middle of a futile search. There is nothing wrong in admiring the other or celebrating another but do not take it to unimaginable heights by underestimating your own true origin and rejecting your own uniqueness just to be a photocopy of a great original. Make YOU look beautiful, because, there is no better “shade” than what you were created in!

Ladies, STAY BLACK, STAY YOU and STAY IN LOVE WITH YOUR ROOTS§

Love your hair, love your skin, love your shape, love YOURSELF!

 After all, YOU HAVE AWESOME BEAUTY WITHIN YOU 

So, what at all will you be bleaching for?

Written by: Alice Blighton